348) MAY PARENTS TELL THEIR CHILDREN NOT TO MOURN FOR THEM?

 

INTRODUCTION:

What is the view of Halachic sources regarding parents who tell their children not to mourn for them? This article is based extensively on the research by Rabbi Dr Shlomo Brody[1] from Bar Ilan University who writes that his parents did not want their children to observe mourning practices for a full year. He then set about researching the matter in Halachic sources and these are some of his findings.

NOTE: This is a purely academic exploration of various sources and is not meant as an authoritative guide. For practical purposes, as always, the reader should consult with his or her competent Halachic decisor on matters of this nature.

319) Some Perplexing Mourning-related Minhagim

 A GUEST POST BY RABBI BORUCH CLINTON:

LEARNING MISHNA:

Is there a connection between mourning and learning chapters of the Mishna? I’m not sure. But popular Jewish practice certainly assumes that there’s something going on. There’s no escaping advice to recite carefully chosen chapters during the course of shiva, and then to gather participants in an effort to complete larger segments before key subsequent milestones.

But why? Some will note that the words נשמה and משנה share the same letters. But then, so do השמן and מנשה (not to mention the verb “meshaneh” – to change). Others will quote “ספרים הקדושים” extolling the power such study has in positively improving one’s status in the next world. The only specific references I came across pointed to titles (אלף המגן ,יוסף אומץ ,תורה אור etc.) that could each refer to multiple lesser-known and relatively modern books. Gesher Hachaim mentions the custom but, uncharacteristically, quotes no sources.